Naruto oneshots
by valkarienknight
Summary: This is my first story of one shots so each one will have no conection to the other also i do not att all own naruto
1. Chapter 1

I am taking ideas if you all want me to write one for you specifically the just pm me my first one will be posted tomorrow

I hope i do good that will be my first official post for this story.


	2. Tsunade and the hypnotist

My very first story so exciting. Well here goes nothing.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

* * *

-Tsunade gets hypnotized-

"What do you want you goddamn pervert." Tsunade yells out. "i have things to do" as she waves her hand over the paperwork in her office

"Tsu-hime i just want to take you to a fair in rice country."jiraiya pleads. "Just for a little bit"

"You know i have things to do" argued tsunade. "i barely have enough time to drink let alone go to a fair let alone a fair"

"Tsu-hime i'll give you whatever you want. Please just this once."jiraiya says to her beggingly.

'an opportunity like this comes once in a blue moon' tsunade thought evilly."whatever i want"

"yes whatever you want"jiraiya says just realizing what deal he made start sweating bullets."y-yeah."

"I want booze for a year." tsunade says. "Let's go."

'My wallet.'jiraiya cries inwardly as he trudges after her out of the office.

* * *

"This was fun" tsunade says happily."maybe next year we can do this again." Hehehe" she laughs evilly.

"Y-yeah. Maybe we can."jiraiya says.'and maybe i won't go bankrupt with how much she drinks.'

"Well let's do one more thing before shizune finds out i left. She always knows its a shadow clone." tsunade says complaining.

"Ok how about….that ome over there"jiraiya points to a tent with an eye on top. "That looks cool. Let's go."

"Yeah right whatever you think is cool is probably perverted or toad related." Tsunade says annoyed. "But fine i can show a little mercy to you and your wallet."

"hey. Not everything i do is perverted and toads are awesome." jiraiya say with vigor.

"Lets just go you damn pervert." Tsunade says.

"Welcome one and all to the incredible mesmerizing melinda." shouts out a chubby man.

Yes. Thank you all for coming." A slender women with purple drill like hair says.

"Wooooo."yells out jiraiya. Getting tsunade irked. Which resulted in her punching him in the ribs.

"Quit down. She's about to do something. Tsunade says with interest.

'who would have thought Tsunade would get interested in this.' Jiraiya thought

"Now would someone from the audience come down to be hypnotized." she asks out loud to everyone.

A plain looking guy comes down. "I will be your test dummy"

"Yes now i will wave a five yen coin in front of your face and you will listen to everything i say"she states as she waves it in his face.

Tsunade started to feel dizzy all of a sudden.

"Now when i count to three you will fall asleep.1...2...3!" both tsunade and the man fell asleep.

"Tsu-hime you okay." jiraiya asks

"Now when you hear simon says you will do whatever is said." melinda says. "Simon says cluck like a chicken."

Tsunade starts to cluck like a chicken immediately the words left Melinda's mouth.

"Hehehehe." jiraiya giggles lecherously. 'I could do so many things.'

"Simon says lets go home." jiraiya says quietly.

Tsunade nods

* * *

"Simon says wear a sexy nurse outfit and call me jiraiya-sama." Jiraiya perversely says to her.

"Ok" she says getting ready to change.

"Yes this simon says hypnotizement is the best in the world." He half yells half says not knowing shizune heard him.

'so he thinks he can do this to tsunade-sama. I'll get save you tsunade-sama.' Shizune thought angrily.

* * *

 _ **The next day**_

"Tsunade-sama you will not believe what jiraiya did last night. He was controlling you using simon says." Shizune tells her master.

"That perverted bastard did what!" tsunade yell angrily. "When i get my hands on him no one will even no what it is anymore. Where is he."

"No tsunade-sama he'll just use simon says on you." Shizune says worriedly.

"Well do you have any idea to fix this?" Tsunade questions her student.

"We first have to figure when this happened and fix it." Shizune says.

"think i know where and when it happened at!" tsunade exclaims. "Off to grass country fair"

"W-what." Shizune says confused. "Why there."

"To see the great melinda." Tsunade states with an angry scowl.

* * *

 _ **At grass country fair in belindas tent after the show**_

"So you're telling me that you got hypnotized and want it fixed?" Melinda asks tsunade.

"Yes. Now fix it!" Tsunade exclaims to melinda.

"It's like totally easy." Melinda says to tsunade. "simon says you're no longer hypnotized"

"That's all that was needed!" Tsunade yells furiously. "Shizune could do that."

"Well since you don't need my help the shows about to come on." Melinda says pushing them out the tent.

Tsu-hime. Simon sa-mmph. Jiraiya was caught mid sentence courtesy by tsunade's fist.

That is what you get. Tsunade yells out angrily at him as she gives him a thorough beating.

Totally...worth …..it. Jiraiya gasps out.

* * *

I hope everyone likes this and remember to send in suggestions to me.


	3. Sakura's dolls of embarssement

Hello everyone im making this chapter while i listen to crystalline. This is gonna be great. I hope everyone enjoys this. Let the show commence.

"Talking"

"Thinking"

" **forced talking"**

' **Demon talking'**

 **Line break**

 **Street of konoha**

"Ino-pig let's go to this antique shop." Sakura asks Ino. "i wonder what they have hear."

"Forehead it looks creepy why would you want to go in their" Ino says to Sakura.

"Come on we could find something like a love potion or something to make sasuke-kun to love me." Sakura says with hearts in her eyes.

"Yeah right like sasuke-kun would want you forehead." Ino says to Sakura making sparks fly between their eyes. "He wouldn't want someone with a washboard chest."

"Well we'll see about that. I'll get that love potion and we will see who has the last laugh." Sakura yells to Ino as she runs to the shop.

"Oh no you don't!" Ino yells at Sakura. ' if they gave a potion like that (even if it existed) i am so screwed.'

* * *

"I can't find anything of use to get sasuke-kun's love." Ino says frustrated. "Have you found anything yet forehead."

"No potion but i did found these cute dolls." Sakura yells to Ino. "This one look like Naruto-baka, and this looks like Hinata-san."

Oh so you think Naruto is cute. Ino says teasingly.

"N-n-no. Why would you think that. Sasuke-kun is the only one for me. It's just that the doll looks cute. Naruto-baka can't compete to sasuke-kun. Chibi or not." Sakura tries to defend herself. 'I wonder if there's one of sasuke here.'

"Well lets just go there's nothing here anyway." Ino says bored.

"Okay just let me buy these." Sakura tells Ino. "I wonder if i can use this to shut him up."

"Ok hurry up." Ino says as she leaves.

* * *

 **Sakura's house**

 **9:00 pm**

"Hmm. What to do." Sakura says as she looks at the dolls. Sakura looks around her room. She gets up looks her door closes her blinds takes out her little konoha village street. models that she has done in the academy i am that i didn't throw these babies out.

Sakura grabs the Naruto dill and puts it where ichiraku would be.

"Knowing Naruto he's there." Sakura says.

"And Hinata would be here. Wait why there though." Sakura wondered. As Hinata was placed behind a pole by ichiraku

Not wondering why she placed them there she started playing with them.

"Hmm if i make naru-chibi goes after china-chibi would the real Naruto leave me alone." Sakura wondered out loud. Lets see.

Sakura moved Hinata to ichiraku where she made the naru-chibi look at hina-chibi.

"Hinata-chan you like ramen to that's amazing. I love girls that eat ramen." Sakura says trying to sound like Naruto. "Let's go out to eat ramen some time."

Of course Naruto-kun. You eat so much ramen but where does it go. Sakura says blushing trying to make Hinata sound perverted.

( who knew Sakura can be such a perv)

* * *

"Another order of miso ramen!" Naruto exclaimed.

Coming right up Naruto-kun. Ayame says to him

Out of nowhere Hinata walks up and sit next to Naruto.

" **hey Hinata-chan you like ramen. Thats amazing. I love girls who enjoy ramen."** Naruto says. 'why am i saying this. Whats going on.' " **lets go out to eat some time.**

"Here's your ramen Naruto-kun."ayame said to Naruto handing him a ramen bowl.

" **Naruto-kun you eat so much."** Hinata says as she blushes. " **Where does it go."**

Why am i saying this. Naruto will never love me now.

Ayame nearly chokes when she hears this. Naruto worried what will happen pays and leaves, but when he got up he couldn't move anymore. Hinata then gets up and Naruto grabs her hand.

" **Bye ayame-san**." Naruto tells her. **Hinata-chan let's go to my house.**

" **Ok Naruto-kun."** Hinata says back. 'why is this happening. Please help me god.'

" **Hinata you wanna date me**." Naruto asks. 'Someone kill me please'

' **hehehe. Need help puny human. Kyuubi asks Naruto.**

'yes just help me.' Naruto pleads to him.

' **on one condition.' kyuubi says**

'Anything.' Naruto pleads

' **Get with that vixen.'** kyuubi says with a smug tone.

'W-w-what.' Naruto stuttered out

' **You said anything so do.'** kyuubi says to him

'Fine just stop this.' Naruto agrees/pleads with him.

* * *

The Naruto doll jumps out of Sakura's hand grabs the Hinata doll and runs out through the window

'I thought i closed that window." Sakura said. Wait what just happened.


End file.
